Fiction 55:First attempt

I have been meaning to write one for ages,ever since Avada wrote one,and then I found other awesome f55 on Shruti's blog,Shankar's and Shilpa's.
So what IS a Fiction55?This is what wiki says :

The origin of 55 Fiction can be traced to a short story writing contest
organized by New Times, an independent alternative weekly in San Luis Obispo,
California, in 1987.
The idea was proposed by New Times founder and publisher Steve Moss. New Times, while
often mistakenly believed to be part of the New Times chain of papers, is
actually part of the smaller, San Luis Obispo-county based New Times Media
Group, which also owns the Santa Maria Sun.


A literary work will be considered 55 Fiction if it has:
Fifty-five words or less (A non-negotiable rule)
A setting,
One or more characters,
Some conflict, and
A resolution. (Not limited to moral of the story)
The title of the story is not part of the overall word count, but it still can’t exceed seven words.

So here I go(hey,erm that rhymes!)
He could recognize her scent anywhere.Though he was eighty,he clearly remembered the first time he had met her in the park-her golden hair flying.
But she was leaner now,her golden mane dull,her mouth pulled down at the corners.He called
out"Miranda!" but all that came out was "woof".

So,how was it?My first attempt,don't be too harsh ;)


Rajlakshmi said...

that was a wonderfull attempt... even though it is your first it came out really well :) ...

loved the twist at the end... keep writing :)

Miss_Nobody said...

thank you!

Shankar said...

oh..that was a nice attempt..really good... miss nobody... and no body is going to be harsh on u...

Miss_Nobody said...

Why,thanks :)

Anonymous said...

Hey girl! that was awesome! couldnt guess the ending at all!! :)

Miss_Nobody said...

thankie :)

Arun George said...

It was a good attempt, but after reading the your first post about dogs. I feel that you can do it better..No hard feelings. :)

I am no good writer like you, but I did an earnest attempt sometime back. Check out when time permits:

Love Life

'Nelley said...

lol! I'm so gonna try it myself. Once the inspiration hits me of course. Great work and I so didn't see the ending coming.
55 words is not a lot of words. This will take some heavy tinkering for sure!

Miss_Nobody said...

Arun:I guess I could have,thanks for the suggestions.I'll check out your post!
NElley:hehe,I have been wanting to,and the inspiration DID not hit me fast :P

ηανєєη said...

i kind of had a hunch where u were going with this .. maybe from the pic of ur other post

anyways good !!