You tell me..

Nineteen year old wha-?I'm at this crossroad where I don't know which word to attach with myself-A girl or a woman?I wish I had an intelligent post to write,which would overnight boost my popularity and I'd have hundreds(okay scores,to start) pouring in to share their pearls of wisdom.Where's mine,you ask?Still looking for it,trying to explore a concept I never thought about often think about.No pearls of wisdom from my side,hence -1.No worries-who the hell wants to grow old?"Eighteen till I die"?-I'd love to,but I'm nineteen already ;)

When you are young,you tend to have weird ideas about *grown up things*-I know I had!
This is what I thought it takes to be a woman(around a decade ago when 14 was an-age--i-so-wanted-to-be...dad wouldn't scold,I'd have no curfew and by the time I was 15 dad would probably invite my potential boyfriend to dinner and not scare him with his jack hammer .20 was just bordering on the verge of death)
You are a woman(as in an adult female) if(Disclaimer this is flashback-don't let the tense eff you up :P)

• You are 20.I mean 20 is OLD.Whoever heard of the phrase 40 is the new 20.Doesn't matter-both are OLD.(If you are wondering what I thought about my parents then-as usual-nothing.They are parents.What about them?)
• You wear makeup.OMG.So,so old.
• You wear danglydoo earrings.Cute earrings are for little girls-hands off*spits out*woman!!

Are you as confused as I am?Good.Lets carry on.

I never thought I'd have to attach the word "woman" with myself.There's nothing remotely graceful about me,nothing gentle and womanly.

For instance,this is what happened a few months ago...

Me and best bud S pigged out on this delicious buffet at Mainland China.We took third,fourth and fifth helping of the chicken wings,crab and prawn chips respectively.By the time we had finished,WE HAD TO DOWNLOAD,I mean REALLY.As we were gathering are asses to hit the bowl,I fell off my chair.I didn't feel ashamed,smoothed my hair and then ran out of the restaurant to the john.(did I mention I ran out yelling?)

And a conversation between me and S in a restaurant(again) in 9th grade-(le pardonnable?)

Me*whispers*:Should we leave a tip?

S*in her outdoor voice*:No.We are kids!

Me:OH.Right.

Did I mention it was a really sophisticated place,and the maitre d and the other waiters were pointing and laughing while we sauntered out like divas,only to return the next month.

Having a kiddie face doesn't help either.

Will I ever grow up?Shall I ever have poise,grace and the ickle womanly stuffs?Does it grow on you with age?I'm still waiting for The becoming.

Or not.

Which event(if any) marked Your becoming?